same, just different

||    Last spring my wonderful husband made a way for us to celebrate our upcoming wedding anniversary at London Fashion Weekend. We had never even been to London, let alone a fashion show there and the day rings clear in my mind how giddy we were when we made the purchase.
Fast forward to September 26th. We had been in London for 3 weeks and were slowly starting to settle in. Getting ready for fashion weekend was stressful from a attire standpoint. With a slim budget but a seemingly high amount of pressure to look outstanding we conjured together some charity shop finds and did the best we could. I had a front row seat to the runway action and while I was thoroughly over stimulated with thanks and amazement, the real show stopper was not the likely garment or designer's line, not the prosecco (although that was a plus) or the shoe gallery but rather this distinct and defining moment I found in the middle of it all.

Right there, I'm sitting front row so close I can practically see the "invisible" garment tape. I had waited for an experience like this since forever. The lights are in sync with the bass that's pumping, the models are strutting and there is a an absolute high in the room as hundreds of women export this sense that they've finally made it.

"We're cooler than everyone else right now, we ARE the elite and we're going to take countless selfies just to prove it to the world and remind ourselves later with when we're at home in our ugly sweats, granny panties and mascara-less lashes watching netflix.."

But it was in that exact moment, the most surprising feeling hit me like a snowball to the face.




Somehow everyone was falling for that deceiving drive that is the lust for life. The lights, the status boost; but it was then when it became clear that as exciting and fortunate as it was to attend, my life could simply not be made up of only moments like this, like these that can't sustain. Months of innocent build up for 15 minutes of visual gain was over and put into the memory bank just like that! Yet for so many, this experience defined them and their level in life was lifted but only for as long as they'll be able to maintain it.

But don't read what I'm not writing. I'm really very grateful I was able to go, we had a great time and my husband wins brownie points for life but I'm also glad I felt what I did before I wasted my days running towards the outwardly appealing and culturally defining way to win at life. I still have outlandish dreams and ambitions, I still want to see more shows in my future and meet accomplished and inspiring people in the industry but I also feel fortunately reminded that while it's okay to have my head dreaming in the clouds, I must stay cognizant that my stilettos are grounded so to not put myself at risk of a someday steep and harmful fall back down.

Life is meant to be enjoyed but status should not so solely define us like it does. I'm in London and I went to a fashion show, yes. I drank prosecco and stayed in a hotel too but my lot in life is no greater than yours no matter what society says. And the irony is that I still plan to continue experiencing more things like this and documenting them along the way but now more than ever, my eyes will not deceive me and I can come and go knowing my worth won't rest in that higher profile moment.

You may be working your 9-5, watching your child at a soccer game or sitting front row at London Fashion Weekend but let's remember that it really is all the same, just different. Find your own fulfillment and find the moments that are steady. Someday your true life worth will show by the impact you made on the people around you more than the selfies you took in their presence.

Have fun, enjoy life, stay grounded.    ||