This weekend we journey to our third place of residence in only 6 short months! Each home we've nestled into has somehow been better than the last and we have nothing to give but endless thanks to all who have been a part.
We're also in the process of searching out a legal way to stay in the UK for another year which as you can imagine is a regular summer breeze. This has brought along its own case of nervousness and general altogether FREAK OUT sessions at the thought of not knowing where we'll be 5 months from now. However, it's all part of the adventure... or so I'm told :)
These two pressing matters alone give me the urge to grip, grab, grasp, HOLD onto something, anything really, both emotionally and literally.
In fact recently I was with a friend in a nerve-racking situation and realized quickly that I'm the type who in moments of uncertainty, needs to hold onto something to help deal. Based on real life events the story goes on that as my friend and I were driving, about to face the odds, I'm in the passenger seat cluelessly clenching the hand break like it's my literal day job. My mind is racing, my heart is pacing and my hand is glued to that break.
Interestingly enough, this kind of reaction is not far from how I react internally to many of life's trying and uncomfortable moments.
Where's life's hand break?
How can I be in control at all times?
What can I grab onto when things seem unstable?
I'd choose control over chaos any day- no doubt! And in my current situation I could run savage with concerning thoughts and debilitating doubts but equally I'm convinced there's really no point. Holding that hand break didn't make me more in control of that moment nor will it do so now. In fact, if anything it made it harder for my friend to actually drive!
As much as I'd like to pretend I am, the truth is that I'm not even in the driver seat of my own life yet I play out most days with my hand fastened to the break just for control's sake. I'm learning (for the 53rd time) that the sooner I let go and let the driver drive, the smoother this journey will be.
I don't know if we'll get approved for another visa. I don't know if we'll be here in 5 months time or if we'll be bags-packed-no-looking-back! One thing I do know however is that I'm not in control and contrary to my own popular belief, that's a very good and encouraging thing!
I've got to, we've got to, let go of that hand break and let life ride! And for the record, this is definitely the cheesiest analogy I've ever used in writing a blog post and I can't even take the cheese credit for originating the concept but it's helped me put life that much more into perspective and perspective is worth the embarrassment.
So I guess hold on; because life will be wild but let go and be flexible because we weren't meant to be in constant control.
Hold tight and let go yo. ||
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